Now readers, as you know, I'm not an unnecessarily angry person; I'm pretty mellowed out. If anyone cares to disagree with that statement, just leave your name and address in the comment section and I'll be over shortly with a sock full of batteries.
But there comes a time when even my patience wears thin. So what am I so angry about I have to bitch it out for all the internet to hear? Ke$ha (the dollar sign makes it Cla$$y) and her song "Tik Tok". I have had to listen to this train-wreck abortion (band name up for grabs) no fewer than 20 times in the last 2 weeks.
"Well this hardly qualifies as a problem", you might say, cracking open another puppy skull and slurping down the contents like a giant oyster. But you'd be wrong. Of the two dozen or so times I have been subjected to this musical malady, I was given no choice in the matter. It seems no matter where I go I hear this goddamn song. I wake up in the morning (decidedly not feeling like P-Diddy) and it's playing on the radio station I set my alarm to. I pop by the corner store to pick up some groceries and it's playing over the loudspeakers. I get home and decide to catch an episode of The Simpsons.
So naturally I did what I always do in times of crisis. Something bat-shit insane. But that didn't exactly pan-out. Needless to say halfway up a radio broadcasting antennae with a hacksaw between your teeth, isn't the easiest situation to talk your way out out.
Ever since I came to the realization, trying to jab the lyrics out of my brain with a Q-tip, but no dice. I occasionally get up to head-butt the wall in front of me, but for the love of god I can't shake these words free. Right now I'm just wondering how many tiny jars of white-out I'd need to huff to blank out these memories.
(Hey, what up girl?)
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
(Lets go)
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back
I'm talking pedicure on our toes, toes
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs
Pulling up to the parties
Trying to get a little bit tipsy
So instead I'll go after the fact that she repeats herself at the end of every line. Did she already use up all 50 words she knows? Did she stroke out sometime between the first and second verses? What happened? PS: That's probably not so much the boys as a faulty cellphone battery.
Now for what I consider to be the crown jewel of stupidity:
And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger
Boys tryin' to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk
Now, now, we go until they kick us out, out
Or the police shut us down, down
Police shut us down, down
Po-po shut us
Well there you go readers, what some could consider a "review" of the musical stylings of Ke$ha. Now while this is the 2nd musical artist I've ripped on, this is by no means a sign of things to come; that this blog is slowly becoming a Perez Hilton knock-off. This is just something that has been really annoying me for the last little while. So, with my rage-bladder finally emptied, this is me signing off. So until next time, here's another picture of Mick Jagger
3 comments:
ur just jelus becuz she is pretty and sucessful and u r not!! dont hate!!!!!!!!!
The fact the your Kesha defense is littered with misspelled words and bad abbreviations only further illustrates why she must be stopped... Perhaps you should wake up in the morning and get your ass back in school and learn some "Gramma"
ROTFLMAO!
FINALLY another sane person in the world (I was convinced there were only a small hand full of us) who don't think that Ke$ha is talent!
THANK YOU!!!!!
She's a manufactured celeb-u-no-talent who won't be around within the next 10 years . . . unless she falls into the Lindsy Lohan Crash and Burn school for a course on "How to Stay in the Headlines When Your 15 Minutes of Fame Expired last decade"
:-)
Thank you . . . Thank you . . . Thank you!
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