The sound of footsteps on a cement floor echoes as a character comes into view. The ground is covered in a waist-high fog. Lighting is dim.
GARY
Where..Where am I?
DISEMBODIED VOICE
Don't you recognize it?
GARY
Who's there? Stay back. I know kung-fu.
DISEMBODIED VOICE
No, no you don't.
GARY
Touche, disembodied voice. Touche. So where is this? Where we at?
DISEMBODIED VOICE
This is your blog.
GARY
What? But there's nothing here, just cobwebs and this picture of Mick Jagger.
Yeesh, time definitely doesn't not make the heart grown fonder.
DISEMBODIED VOICE
Exactly. You left it here, Gary. Like this, to waste away. While you were out and about gallivanting with your "responsibilities" and "social life".
GARY
But I didn't mean to, I was onl-
DISEMBODIED VOICE
How long has it been? Since you opened MS Paint? Since you badly cropped out Justin Bieber's face and superimposed it onto the body of a chihuahua?
GARY
Actually, I was just abou-
DISEMBODIED VOICE
No excuses.
GARY
So why exactly do you care about when I update my blog? It only has like 9 readers and even they don't particularly care.
DISEMBODIED VOICE
Because Gary...
What a twist!
.. I am your blog! You abandoned me.
GARY
Oh com'on, how was I supposed to know my blog was sentient.
DISEMBODIED VOICE
Sentience or not, you knew exactly what you were doing! Now gaze at your folly! Let it burn into your eye sockets, so that you may bear witness to it for all time!
GARY
Dude, chill I'll update eventually.
DISEMBODIED VOICE
I will not "chill". It's been 2 months since your last update. 2 months. Not to mention you left on a cliffhanger, and that's just a dick move.
GARY
Fine, if I update will you leave me alone, and teleport me out of where ever the hell I am?
DISEMBODIED VOICE
That is acceptable.
GARY
This counts as a update. No take-backsies.
DISEMBODIED VOICE
Wai-But you-But I. Oh, Goddamn it. Fine.
GARY
That's right, I promise I'll get back to updating regularly.....
...when hell freezes over!
GARY disappears in a flash of light
DISEMBODIED VOICE
I really hate that guy.
In the meantime, here's a bad pun.
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