Don't worry I haven't left you.....yet.

Hey what's up my British Bull blogs,
It's me and I'm back and recharged after my four day hiatus. Did ya miss me? Well don't you worry because I'd never leave you guys. At least not because taking everything pawnable in the house and adopting a new identity as Tito Jimenez, an ordinary day labourer by day, but when the night falls he dons his uniform and  becomes... a night labourer.  So what's been in the news lately. There doesn't seem to be anything too interesting, earthquake this, senate that, blahblahblah. So I guess I'll make up some news:

"Moon revealed to be eyeball of god; tells mankind to stop landing crap on it as it really stings"

"North Korea struggles to reach new level of bat-shit insanity; considers making new national currency the skin that pudding gets when you leave it out too long"

"Barack Obama rebuilds nation's economy while doing triple backflip on tiger. PICS INSIDE."

Now those are some headlines worth checking out . I figure with news that good, you could even keep the Newspaper industry afloat for at least another couple of years; not that they deserve it. They brought this on themselves. They failed to heed the market warnings, failed to reinvent themselves for the twenty first century. So now they're obsolete and dying off; it serves then right. Although to be fair it's not they ever stood a chance of winning against the internet in any way.Online the news is fresher, the comics are funnier and the opinions are even more bat-shit insane. It's survival of the fittest and the newspaper industry is the gazelle born with 3 legs. However, fortunately for the newspapers, like the panda bear they too have just barely managed to dodge the  falling hammer of  Darwin by still having some uses which include:

- Wrapping things
- Lining the bottoms of things
- Cleaning up large spills
- That magic trick where you pour a litre of water into a newspaper cone and it disappears.
- Paper Mache
- Remembering what day it is
- Avoiding eye contact on the bus
- Looking nonchalant
- Swatting flies and disobedient pets
- Hobo Blankets
- Hobo Urinals

Well that's all for now, and remember until next time. It's not murder if you just cut off their hand. Toodles :)