Blog post nine, feelin' fine.

What's up my amazon tree blogs? How is it going? So late last night I was minding my own business, sitting in my laboratory shaving rats to resell as naked mole rats when one of my friends sends me this Youtube clip. If you can't see that it doesn't matter as the clip it self isn't important. It was just some Japanese game show thing where teenage Japanese girls were being attacked by tentacl lost their shit after meeting the guy who played Harry Potter in that series of movies whose name escapes me right now. Now why would I bother to mention this on my blog to its many reader? (No, I didn't forget an s) Because I feel a great injustice has occurred, something that so heinous that to do nothing about it would cause Martin Luther King to spin in his grave, so quickly in fact that he would probably explode out of his coffin and go drilling toward the Earth's core. I am of course talking about why I haven't yet appeared on any Japanese TV show.

Did I do something to offend you, Japan? I thought we all squared up during our last encounter. I agreed to reseal Godzilla in the ocean floor and you promised to delay production on your creepy disgusting pornography. I see absolutely no reason as to why I would be snubbed to appear on a Japanese Game Show. I mean I'm certainly crazy enough to eat a pound of wasabi and people dressed like Stalin club me with live dolphins (this is their version of Jeopardy). Are you afraid I'd go all Ken Jennings on your country and win every game show for all time? Because if so I could easily throw a couple of games.

Perhaps you just didn't know how I felt on the subject. Well hopefully this clears everything up Japan and hopefully you , my blog readers, will be able to see me  next week on SUPER HAPPY BONANZA-THON KAWAII CHALLENGE 2010 (their version of the Price is Right). I should probably get some practice in though, it's been ages since I last pole-vaulted a donkey. Well until next time, this is me signing off and remember one should never strike a lady..... with a closed fist.